Week 1 Day 4

I had a good day today. Not too much shoulder/back pain. I did much better with my water intake and limited my diet soda to half a bottle with no headache. I did weigh myself this morning, which I swore I wouldn't do, but I wanted to see if it was working! (I won't post what I saw, but it inspired me to keep going!) I also ate dinner after 8pm which was a no-no, but I work until 8pm each day and did not have time to take a break to eat earlier.
I'm worried about Sunday. My niece is graduating from college and we are going to a cookout at my brother's house. I'm not yet ready to tell my family that I'm trying to lose weight so bringing my own food is not an option. I think I'm just going to take a very small serving of a couple of not-so-bad things. Great plan, huh? It's hard to plan because I don't know exactly what they are serving. I will stay away from dessert though. If I manage to do that, I plan to reward myself with a Skinny Cow ice cream that night.
I'm a very shy person most times. Unless I know someone very well, I usually keep pretty quiet. I will be around my family on Sunday, but there will also be friends of my niece and extended family that I don't know very well there.
I don't like to be the center of attention...ever. I hate people looking at me. I always feel like I'm being judged.
For example, we went to my great-nephew's first birthday part last weekend. First of all, my sister was late and I ended up sitting with 2 of my niece's friends while I waited for my sister. They were very nice girls, but I could not for the life of me think of something to say to them.
When my sister finally arrived, she immediately made a big deal about my new haircut. She kept going on and on about it, which was very sweet, but I was just so mortified. I love my new haircut. It's actually my favorite haircut I've ever had, but calling attention to it just embarrassed me.
I need to get to a point where I don't care what others think of me. I know I worry too much about that. When I think of it logically, I know that I'm barely a blip on their radar, but at the time, I feel like 10 spotlights are shining on me and everyone is being all judgey.
I'm hoping as I lose weight, I'll gain confidence. I already feel stronger and more in control...but don't sign me up for making a speech anytime soon!
Life is good today!

k